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    清了吗?

    终于我还清了所有的债务,终于我自由了!终于我要开始新的历程了,终于该清的都清了。
    似乎我可以开始一段认真的幸福生活了,似乎时间并不眷恋我,似乎该属于我的还没有到,似乎我又被欺骗了。
    也许这是玩笑,也许这是必须,也许这是命中注定,也许这只是我的遐想!
    不知不觉爱上小野丽莎的歌,浪漫的爵士风情加上一些空灵,比王若琳饶有味道,最近听王菲听的不多了,她终于可以被我暂时搁置了,是不是喜欢一种事物太久了就会生厌?是不是她已经不能满足我了?
    我越活越没有激情,越活越沉默了,会不知不觉地不耐烦,会不知不觉地丢失笑容,会不知不觉地无可奈何!我知道这并不是一件好事,我知道我暂时没有办法!
    好久好久没有好好爱了,好久好久没有得到一个温暖的拥抱了,好久好久没有这么渴望幸福了,也好久好久没有这样任凭自己麻木了,我开始害怕,怕自己失去一切,怕自己失去生活的能力,怕自己有一天连哭泣也忘记。
    我是谁?我要干什么?我要去哪里?请不要再唱了,那凄凉的歌声让我心上的肉一片一片地掉落,我没有办法将它们一一拾起,我只能跪在自己的面前祈求!
     
     

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